Sunday, March 16, 2008

Why I Blog

Many wonder why I “waist” my time writing my thoughts on this blog, and I am happy to explain my reasoning for it. To me, it is not a waist of time since ultimately this is the medium I choose to express my thoughts and feelings regarding the Mormon Church and what I have gone through on my path to resignation. Many people who comment and read my blog also maintain their own. So to them I ask, why a blog instead of a personal journal or diary? I know from reading your blogs that most of you use yours as a type of journal or a way to let others know what is going on in their lives and it is a great way to communicate with a large number of people. It is a part of the web based era we live in. The only difference with mine is that I am probably more open with my thoughts then most. I have nothing to hide and see no point in sugar coating anything. What you read here is nothing but pure and raw emotion and it come from the organ behind my eyes that I like to call a brain.

Typically, the brain is what is used to sift through data and it uses past experiences as well as intellect to decipher what information is valid and what is not. I do not claim to be the most intellectual person around but I do know how to think for myself. I have been reading books regarding the history of the church and its doctrine and it has opened my eyes to so many beliefs that contradict each other. The books I have been reading are Teachings of The Prophet Joseph Smith, Mormon Doctrine, Journal of Discourses, Times & Seasons, History of the Church, and others. These are Church publications and I have no reason to doubt that they reflect accurate church beliefs and teachings since they are used on any given Sunday and by church leaders. When speaking on a topic, I will always quote my source so that anyone who doubts my information can look for themselves and come to their own conclusion about the same passages.

The purpose of this blog is not to persuade anyone to leave the Mormon Church. It is not the result of misplaced anger, but rather a vehicle for me to express the hurt and distrust associated with leaving a church that I have spent all my life serving and from my point of view, has lied to me. I acknowledge the fact that many of the things I write about will come off as harsh or shocking to those who believe in Mormonism but I do not and will not apologize for any of it.

Some have asked why I spend my time researching the problems in the Mormon Church instead of focusing on my current beliefs. For the most part, my research has already been finished. My posts are the result of that study but it is impossible for me to write everything in one day. In fact, I started with what in my mind were the more simple issues and am working my way up to the ones that were the main cause of my disaffection. Due to the response I am getting, I will push this week to get more of my thoughts posted. It takes a considerable amount of my time to do this due to the fact that I am the kind of person that speaks only after much thought and I try to be very careful not to speak out against the members of the church, but rather the doctrine, how it has changed and those who work to keep the truth from those that put so much faith in them.

It has been stated that I should spend my time focusing on my current beliefs rather then those I so recently left. In order to understand where I am now spiritually and where I want to go, I must first understand where I have been and what affect that has had on me. To do that, I feel the need to educate myself on the LDS church to find both the positive things that I can take from it and the negative things that I want to make sure do not follow me. At this point, I consider myself an Agnostic. I am uncertain of the existence of God. I am also at the point where I can not trust any religion. It is my belief, that the LDS church betrayed the trust I gave it for more then 25 years and that realization has made it impossible for me to put my trust in another “man of God”. I believe that Mormons do not have a monopoly on morals and righteousness and that I can be a great husband, father and person without it or any other church. I have begun to focus more time and energy into Eastern Philosophy. I have found peace in practicing Yoga and reading and pondering the teachings of Taoism. It quiets my soul and brings peace to my mind.

To those who choose to read the thoughts coming from behind my eyes, Welcome! I honestly appreciate the fact that you have chosen to spend some of your precious time today reading what I have to say. I encourage everyone who feels the need, to please comment. There is no need to be shy. If you choose to stay anonymous, I understand. Your comment is welcome either way. All that I ask is that you follow standard blog etiquette and refrain from personal attacks pointed towards those who also share their religious thoughts and beliefs. I encourage open, intelligent and respectful discussion here. If in your comment, you make reference to a certain quote or doctrine, please note your source so we can also read it and expand our knowledge on the topic at hand. If you would rather send me an email, you can do so knowing that I will not share your comments or identity with anyone else.

May you find peace and happiness in whatever path you choose.


  1. I am glad to hear that you are not speaking out against members of the church, but just expressing your feelings about the doctrine.

    It seems like your readers come from both sides of the fence ... have you considered including links from both sides, too, instead of just one?

    Maybe,, or for us "intellectual" (rebel) Mormon types, how about

    That being said, it is DOUG'S blog.

  2. Kristy,
    You bring up a good point. I figured most people who would be reading this would already know about so I did not bother linking to that site. "20 Truths about Mormonism" actually has arguments from both sides and I think it is very well done. I have never heard of "Gramps" but I will check it out. I do have a link to "Journal of Discourses" which is a church publication but perhaps I will make a section for Mormon Apologists as well.

  3. I didn't mean for my comments to be a personal attack towards you, but I can see how they came across that way. And I sincerely apologize for that. I do NOT think you are of the Devil. My statement was written as a "what if" statement with questions marks. You were pondering about "If some are of God, some are of men and some are of the Devil, then how do we know which is which?" I was just throwing in an opposing view point to what you had said about the Mormon Church and Joseph Smith, basically concluding that they might be of the devil.

  4. I actually did not take it as an attack on me, but rather an attack on everyone who is not LDS. I think that one of the things most members fail to understand is that to others, they come off as the most arrogant and self-righteous group of people. To claim that the LDS church is the "one and only true church" automatically implies that all others are part of the "great and abominable" and they no hope for salvation.

    You wonder why other churches have issues with Mormons, it is because of this. Other Christian denominations co-exist with one another because there is a "body of Christ" and they believe that they each make up part of that. The Mormon Church teaches that it is the only church with the truth, making all others the product of the devil. The quote about it all being true or it all being a fraud comes from the late Pres. Hinckley and not from me. He made it a black and white issue and left each person to make up their own minds.

  5. No Church Mormon or other wise can save a person's soul. The only one we can trust with our lives is Jesus! If a religion or church does not point you Jesus Christ then it is a waste of our time.
    I pray that you will find Jesus the Savior of the world and the only one who can bring peace and light to a dark world! He can heal our hurts, disappointments and loves us more than anything.

  6. i tried to put this comment on and received an error -- if this one is duplicated - just delete the dupe -- sorry -- it becomes necessary sometimes for a person who has been involved in a strongly regulated religious group to take a step back and re-assess their place on this planet - there is a very good book called "Let Our Children Go" by Ted Patrick -- he writes about the fact that whenever Holy Scripture has been used to control or a person thinks they've been lied to by that religous organization - they must be away from it, re-examine themselves and study all they can -lots of groups use scripture to prove their philosophy -- whether in truth or falcehood -- only you can find your way, only you can establish the path you wish to take -- "let the healing begin" -- i used to have the book mentioned above, but it's been gone a long time ago -- it is available on (5 used copies) i think are listed -- good luck to you -- you are wonderfully talented and intelligent beyond your years -- i am grateful to have you as a son-in-law and you'll figure it out --

    nana (aka mom in law, patty)

  7. Thank you for telling the truth. I love reading your post, they move me! I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and hope you will find the peace you are searching for.

  8. hey honey....

    I love the fact you take so much time and effort to share who you are in this blog and what you stand for ...which is truth. I appreciate the fact that you don't just post random thoughts, but everything you post is backed up with historical data from the actual church.

    One thing I have learned over the years of being an "onliner" is that commenters are very brave under the "anonymous" heading and really can come atcha with their most harsh of reactions, because there is no way of finding out who they are.

    The important thing to realize is that you have come out of a situation and are on top. Now you can just sift through all your comments and take um or leave um.
    You are in control of your future and the path you chose.

    You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I love you!

  9. Doug, what up bro! It is starting to get warm outside. When are we going to play some tennis? I'll beat some faith into you on the court. LOL ;) - Jared

  10. I should say, anonymously, that it looks like someone got a little peeved!

    Yes- there are other view points, however, this is the viewpoint of the blogger, that is why it is HIS blog. People click on this with free will just as they choose their beliefs with free will, as well.

  11. Hey Doug,
    I was running this morining with a friend and this blog came up so I logged on to take a look at it. All I can say is that...when I was younger I realized that people are not perfect! It doesnt matter what religion or status you have, everyone will make mistakes. With that being said, it only strengthens my testimony that the gospel his. There is good in all religions and bad as well, but when you dwell on the bad all you feel is "bad". Find what makes you happy and dwell on that. I do miss seeing you guys!