I was lead to this audio clip from the Dr. Laura Show that has her discussing if a husband (the caller) should divorce his wife because she wants to leave the Mormon church. Listen to it HERE.
The Mormon culture breeds a sense of “if you are not with us, you are against us” which leads to this idea that if someone chooses a different path, all ties should be cut. Thankfully, there are some who go against this kind of thinking and do not care what church a person goes to and to me they are special people. It is not always easy to distinguish who these people are because, as I have found out through my experience, many act like they are true friends to your face but once you turn your back they are the first to condemn you.
After listening to this clip, it is easy to see that it is the teachings of “eternal marriage” that causes a great divide in families if just one member chooses to not play the game anymore. How sad is it that this man actually thought that he would be justified in leaving his wife of like 14 years, who converted to Mormonism FOR HIM no less, along with their two kids just because she is considering or maybe already has gone to another church. This is the horrible side affect temple marriage has on families.
My mother has had 2 temple marriages and both ended in divorce. While I don’t know all of the details of what happened with either of them, I can give my opinion from my point of view. My mom probably tries harder then any Mormon I know to do everything she is supposed to do and do it right. The down side to that is she is not very tolerant of others when they do not live up to the same standards she has or expects. From where I sit, this is what drove her husbands away. If you push someone long enough to be something they are not or can never be, eventually they will tire of it and walk away. I don’t think my father or step-father should be excused for any wrong doing they might have be part of but I do think it was her “you have to be a perfect Mormon” attitude that drove them away.
Unfortunately, she is not the only one. I know of many women who had no hesitation in their voice when they said that they would leave their husbands if they ever went inactive or left the church. I think they are missing the point about being focused on family.
I am so thankful that I have a wife who, no matter what others were saying, stuck by my side to support me and love me when I decided I had been Mormon long enough. She showed true unconditional love that many members of the LDS church lack. I am blessed to have her by my side.